Did the artist Roy Lichtenstein truly understand women?
Ok, you have been reading about men’s health on this blog for months. Now it’s time for a little quiz. Number two pencil’s out?
1. True or False: Real men don’t cry or express emotion.
False. Ever see Marlon Brando in Streetcar Named Desire, yelling Stella’s name in the streets? Too bad that men who cannot express their feelings are portrayed as monsters on film. Think of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator. Or Al Pacino in the Godfather (part two), where he has his brother killed with barely a trace of emotion. Simply not true. Real men feel but often they are not able to recognize and name the feelings. In any case, expressing feelings is as primitive and important as eating.
2. True or False: A healthy man always wants sex.
Tricky, but false. Testosterone influences a man’s libido, and men, on average, have a higher libido than women. When women state that “men always want to have sex,” it’s an exaggeration. According to the Kinsey Institute, 54% of men think about sex every day, or several times a day, but 46% think about it a few times per month, a few times per week, or less. Remember, stress also affects sexual desire. Men may not think about sex as much when they are older compared to when they were younger in part because of how much more complicated and stressful their lives have become.
3. True of False: A man who is good in bed should be able to keep it up for 45 minutes straight.
False. This would be fun it were true all the time. But actually, every man is different. In this case, it’s time to bury that competitive streak or any issues of inadequacy, because this expectation is a bit high. Although drug makers warn us on TV about erections lasting for several hours (which in fact can be painful), the average erection lasts 15 to 30 minutes. The average time to sexual climax in U.S. men is 7- 9 minutes, believe it or not.
4. True or False: I had five hours of sleep, worked a 9 hour day, then came home, helped with dinner, and worked on a pet project. Exhausted, I went to bed, and my lady love wanted sex. There must be something wrong with me if I don’t feel like it.
False. I wrote about this previously. Wanting to have sex is linked with stress and also sleeping well. This means between 6.5 and 7.5 hours of sleep each night. According to sleep researchers, the people that live the longest also sleep about that much. It’s well known that sleep deprivation has a direct impact on libido, and in some cases, on erectile function.
5. True or False: When I have sex with a woman, I need to attend to her needs before attending to mine.
True and False. It is gentlemanly and attentive to respond and pay attention to what a woman wants, but to tell the truth, women’s libido’s are a funny, wily thing. Only 26% of women in a committed relationship climax every time they have sex. Men often put themselves under undue pressure to give their partner an orgasm when it may cause more stress than satisfaction. Some advice: Take care of yourself and let her take care of herself.
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